Hi y’all, welcome back to Cleverly Caroline. Today I’m going to be talking about something a bit more serious: my insecurities about blogging. It’s been almost six months since I launched the blog and while I’m very proud of what I’ve created, I am still very critical of myself and my online presence. I in no way intend to make a victim of myself or make it seem like I have it hard, because I am so blessed to be healthy, have a family, be able to attend the university that I do, etc. I wanted to write this post to shed light on some of my difficulties with blogging which are not often talked about by other bloggers, but I am sure I am not alone in feeling this way. I also want to stay honest with my readers at all times, so I felt it was necessary to be transparent about how I’ve been feeling lately.
One of the hardest parts of blogging for me is the lack of support from my real life friends. While some of my friends are supportive, many think my online presence is an inauthentic version of myself. I don’t think this is true, although I do believe that I put my best self forward online. Most of my friends from home know me to be snarky and interested in politics, but that is not how I present myself online for a few reasons. Personally, I don’t like myself when I am snarky because it makes me and those around me feel negative. I am always striving to be a nicer person and my space on the internet lets me spread positivity. With politics, while it is something I am still very interested in, it’s not something I care to put online because I know I am not the most reliable source for political news or opinions.
Because I don’t get a lot of support for my friends, I am unable to communicate to people that I blog without making fun of myself because I think that most people will take it as a joke anyways. I talk about the blog very little in real life because of my inability to talk about seriously. When I do talk about it seriously, I am met with mixed reactions: some people are impressed while others think it’s stupid. I distinctly remember talking about my blog during a sorority recruitment party and the chapterwoman I was talking to just saying “…oh.” Instances like this make me feel like what I’m creating isn’t meaningful or worthwhile, even when I put hours of research and writing into each post.
People have also criticized my paid work with brands because they believe it’s inauthentic. In reality, I receive a lot of sponsorship offers that I turn down because I don’t know or believe in the brand. I am highly selective when choosing to work with a brand because I want to ensure I am only promoting brands whose products and message I support. I want to make sure that all brand endorsements I make are absolutely authentic, I would feel wrong if I promoted something I didn’t believe in.
My last insecurity is taking pictures in public. This is mostly an issue of my own personal insecurities, which I’ve talked about a few times on Instagram. I do not like how I like in most pictures and I don’t like being stared at by people passing by when I take pictures outside. However, I love expressing my creativity through photography and my clothing so I am constantly working on bettering my content and feeling more confident in my pictures.
I am working on building my confidence around content creating every day and hope to get to a place where I can speak proudly about my blog to anyone, but I’m not there yet. Despite the negativity, I am still very proud of what I have created and I have met some really amazing and inspiring people through blogging. I love that I get to share my love of fashion and my experience in college with others. I love that I get to work with some of my favorite brands to share products I like with y’all. I am so glad I started Cleverly Caroline and I am looking forward to where blogging leads me in the coming years.
Disclaimer: This post was originally published on Cleverly Caroline on June 19, 2019.